I have studied, practiced, and taught parenting for more than 30 years.
When my husband and I were preparing to have our first child, I vividly recall feeling joy — and anxiety. My anxiety came from my unhappy childhood memories. Upon reflection, knowing that my parents did the best that they could, and that it wasn’t good enough, I didn’t want to repeat what I my parents did.
In the absence of reflection, history often repeats itself…Research has clearly demonstrated that our children’s attachment to us will be influenced by what happened to us when we were young if we do not come to process and understand those experiences.
Later, as a public health nurse, visiting 30-50 homes a month — and having started to teach parenting — I began to ask: Why is it that some parents and their children are happier and more successful than others? Why do some have better relationships than others?
Why Are So Many Parents Frustrated and Unhappy?
Why is it that so many parents, who had great dreams, and were over-joyed when their child was born, end up frustrated and mad at their kids? Why are some parents supportive, patient, respectful, effective, and optimistic — but the majority are yelling, threatening, punishing, and finally, hitting a child because “nothing else works”?
Why is it that a few parents get enjoyable satisfaction out of parenting, and are not rushed, while — at the same time — a great majority are rushed and stressed and downright unhappy?
Why do some children grow up to be happy, competent, confident, responsible, and resilient, and others grow up to be unmotivated, unable to build healthy relationships, and stuck — blaming their parents for all their woes?
It seemed to me that so few parents were realizing their full potential to build their legacy — deep relationships with their children that endured the teen years and beyond! So few were grasping the awesome opportunity they had to truly change the world — by changing how they parented!
Learn What You Need To Learn to Be an Effective Parent
Searching for answers to my questions, I decided to do what I had done to become a successful driver, a successful, competent nurse, educator, speaker, and writer. I decided that if I were to become the parent I wanted to be — feeling happy and confident most of the time, and raising terrific kids — I had to learn what I needed to learn and then practice it until I got good at it.
Successful, effective parenting is not magic. You can learn what you need to know to be the parent you always wanted to be!